NO FEAR 40’s

Turning 40 is a milestone. And I wasn’t sure how I’d feel. But I knew how I DID NOT want to feel. For a good majority of my life I have been shy, awkward at times, introverted, scared of trying new things and fearful of change.

At 40, I found myself working with individuals as a nurse discharge planner asking them to uproot their entire lives they’d built to have a safer home environment. Sure, it was for a valid reason. But how could I tell them not to be afraid? 

I felt like such a hypocrite. I’ve certainly had incredibly brave moments in life. I’ve worked intensely hard. But if I can, I choose safe. I choose what I know. Trauma does that I suppose. So does cowardice. And that is not the legacy I wish to leave behind. 

So turning 40, I set out to do everything I’ve ever been afraid to do. Tackle it all. I’ve dubbed this journey-No Fear 40’s. Which is certainly a misnomer. Because I sure was afraid initially. But fear eventually (and I mean eventually) gave way to curiosity. Then curiosity to excitement. And excitement led to actions. I’ve had so much fun! Learning, growing, and evolving into a much happier person that is excited for the days ahead. 

I have met so many people facing the worst situations of their lives. I don’t ask them not to be afraid. I sit with them and give them the agency to live their life on their terms. It just helps to have someone hold your hand sometimes. And someone to tell you simply, it’s ok. I’m here. And I’ll stay here. I’ve got you.

I chose the name Moxie Life for my company because that’s how I feel people should be living their life: Live it with Moxie! Full of life, energy, and most importantly give this thing all you have got! 

I had a terminal client once tell me she had a very serious problem and had to ask me a question. I sat down on the chair across from her, ready to hear her out. Usually quite jovial I wasn’t sure what I was in for. The question? Can I get a tattoo? My response, “Of course you can get a tattoo! Live your life!” I also asked,” Do you want me to go with you? You should probably take your wheelchair and oxygen for safety in case but, heck yeah go!” 

Did she go? No. Not yet. I don’t know if she was just seeing if she ‘could’ or if she just wanted to see how this thing was going to go. Maybe she just wanted to know she had someone on her side. The relief on her face was evident, though. I encourage individuals to live life to the fullest for as long as health will allow. I’ll support it in any way that I can. 

Right now ask yourself, what am I holding back from doing in life? What do I really want to do but I don’t? Make a list of everything. Then on a scale of one to ten put how important it is to you. Then ask yourself: Why don’t you do it? And don’t con yourself, either. Or give yourself some BS excuse. Don’t do that. Hold yourself accountable to live the best life you can! Don’t let anything hold you back.